When you’re feeling kinda wretched about the current state of your body, you tend to lose interest in shopping for gorgeous clothing. And eventually, shopping apathy can morph into diminished interest in clothes. And sometimes THAT indifference becomes an inability to engage in basic grooming.
It’s a fun little cycle, and I’m sure many of you have experienced it firsthand. Usually, a gal’s gotta hit bottom to shake loose body blues this severe: A candid party photo of your unkempt self that gives you shivers, a cutting comment from a coworker, or something equally traumatic usually throws our long-rusted self-care gears in the opposite direction.
Now, consider this: What if you forced it? What if – on those days when you looked in the mirror and saw the Swamp Thing – you made yourself don a flirty frock, curl your hair, or slip on a sassy set of heels? Would it help or hurt how you felt about your body and face and overall self?
We’ve already established that the cycle of self-loathing is inextricably linked to the cycle of self-neglect: Feel bad, look bad. Feel worse, look worse, and on and on. But I believe that a cycle of self-love can be perpetuated by a cycle of self-care. If you feel awful about how you look, and allow yourself to LOOK as awful as you feel, you spiral down. But if you feel awful about how you look, and work against that negativity – beautifying yourself with the tools you have at hand – you can spiral up.
When you put effort into your appearance, you are less likely to hide from mirrors, eat nothing but junk, cease exercising, and withdraw from social situations. When you put effort into your appearance, you are more likely to receive compliments – important sources of external feedback that encourage you to CONTINUE putting effort into your appearance. When you put effort into your appearance, you foster feelings of stewardship toward your body and feel more inclined to show that body tenderness and care. When you put effort into your appearance, you don’t wallow, you move.
Caring about how you present your physical self to the world makes you more present in your body. Presence in your body feeds itself, creating more care. The cycle of self-care feeding self-love creating more self-care allows you to broadcast a profile of self-respect and power. It reminds you that you can control how you feel about yourself. And that’s powerful good stuff.
Personal style can be used as a tool to cultivate self-care and reflect self-respect. No matter how tall you are or where you carry the most jiggle, you can learn to flatter your figure. You can utilize your natural, perfect beauty to reflect your undeniably amazing self outward to the observing world. And when you do, you kick-start the machinery of self-love.
You can choose your cycle. Choose up.